How do you know if your marriage or relationship is in trouble? Do you feel unappreciated? Do the habits that once you found endearing now grate on your nerves? Are you saying things to each other in anger that you later regret? Do you feel angry, sad, worried, tense or defeated? These are just some of the signs of a relationship in distress.
Don't wait to get professional help! Many couples don't know where to get help and just wait and hope their marriage troubles will get better by themselves. Often however, ignoring the problems make them worse and can lead to psychological problems like depression or inappropriate behavior, such as having an affair.
Couples counseling can be preventive. You don't need a troubled relationship to seek counseling. Extensive research by Harville Hendricks, author of "Getting the Love You Want" and many other books on relationships, found that happy couples are those who know how to handle their disagreements based on a foundation of friendship and affection. Learning effective communication and how to use it for solving problems in your marriage can help you maintain the friendship and affection, and resolve issues that might otherwise threaten your relationship.
Couples counseling can help you learn to:
* Listen effectively and empathetically * Clearly express your needs in a way that you feel you're really being heard * Understand your partner's "love language" * Fight fairly * Nurture your relationship * Help each other through stressful life changes
Parenting Issues
Parenting is one of the most divisive issues for couples that have children. Parents tend to parent the way they were parented or in reaction to the way they were parented. Rarely do couples discuss their child rearing beliefs prior to having children or make an effective parenting plan for themselves as a couple. When differences arise, couples often find themselves in conflicts that impact their relationship as a whole.
Helping parents learn to work together to develop a consistent parenting plan they can both support is my top priority. By utilizing choices, limits and follow through, parents work as a team to help the family.
Blended Families
Few things put more stress on a new relationship or marriage than blended families. I help couples find balance between the demands of a new relationship and their roles as parents/step-parents.
Learn to:
* Prepare your children for the possibility of blending your family * Understand your children's pain and grief over the loss of the previous family * Allow your children time and space to adjust to the new situation * Blend your discipline styles to present a united parenting approach * Find time to nurture your new relationship AND special time for your children * Hold family meetings where everyone is heard and appreciated * Reduce loyalty conflicts